Season 1

1. Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids

2. Rule #174: Never Trust Anyone Who Charges by the Hour

3. Rule #47: Always Take Advantage of "Me" Time

4. Rule #426: Fantasyland: A Great Place to Visit

5. Rule #21: Leave Childishness to the Children

6. Rule #33: When in Doubt, Run Away

7. Rule #67: Don't Kill the Princess

8. Rule #17: Ask the Answer Lady

9. Rule #32: F-you, Rob Frumpkis!

10. Rule #3: Don't Stand in the Doorway

11. Rule #46: Keep the Holidays Low Key

12. Rule #92: Don't Do the Crime If You Can't Do the Time

13. Rule #101: Know When It's Time to Move On